Lockdown 648

Lockdown Day 648- 3 January 2022

I have decided to share a little inspiration today, seeing as this is the first week of 2022, my "02" year. 

I know last year also had 02 in the middle and so will the rest of this decade, but there is something about the three twos and one zero that I believe will yet be revealed. For now, I will focus on the breathing part. 

So today I would like to share a profound piece Natasha shared with me, wrtten by John Roedel, that absolutely blowed my mind and still does:

my brain and

heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was

to blame about

how big of a mess

I have become

eventually,

they couldn't be 

in the same room

with each other 

now my head and heart 

share custody of me

I stay with my brain 

during the week

and my heart 

gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

 

    - instead, they give me

the same note to pass

to each other every week 

and their notes they

send to one another always 

says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"

on Sundays

my heart complains

about how my 

head has let me down

in the past

and on Wednesday

my head lists all

of the times my 

heart has screwed

things up for me 

in the future

they blame each

other for the 

state of my life

there's been a lot

of yelling - and crying

so,

lately, I've been

spending a lot of

time with my gut

who serves as my

unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the

window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine

and collapse on my

gut's plush leather chair

that's always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit

until the sun comes up

last evening,

my gut asked me

if I was having a hard

time being caught

between my heart

and my head

I nodded

I said I didn't know

if I could live with

either of them anymore

"my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow,"

I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

"I just can't live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future,"

I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

"in that case,

you should

go stay with your

lungs for a while,"

I was confused

- the look on my face gave it away

"if you are exhausted about

your heart's obsession with

the fixed past and your mind's focus

on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs

there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now

there is only inhale

there is only exhale

there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath

you can rest while your

heart and head work

their relationship out."

this morning,

while my brain

was busy reading

tea leaves

and while my

heart was staring

at old photographs

I packed a little

bag and walked

to the door of

my lungs

before I could even knock

she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me

she said

"what took you so long?"

~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)

Just reading this and playing the conversation out on the stage of my mind's theatre, blew my mind on so many levels. More about this tomorrow.

For now, just enjoy the subtle but totally real humour of this piece as a gift of joy from Jesus, thé Man of Joy. Because this 02 year needs Joy in it's toolbox. And because God's got this.