To battle or not to battle

Battle can be one of many things to different people ...... but it definitely represents some form of persistent struggle in order to reach a state of peace. Hopefully long term peace and stability.

In a battle someone always loses something while someone else gains something. Things such as perspective, trust, self worth, dignity, health.......and the ultimate sacrifice/gift: LIFE.

LIFE itself is a battle......you win some and lose some, but in the end you will  always have experience. And its that experience no-one can take away from you. It is yours, to have and to hold forever. How you draw from it will determine how your life will play out. 

To obtain peace and stability, you will have to draw deep from battle scars. Drawing from victory is easy because the joy overrides the pain. But drawing from losses really tests your ability to take the pain and convert it into peace.

Brain Glue

Brain Glue

The research team of Tel Aviv University found that Glia cells in the brain act as a glue, not only holding everything together, but are also responsible for how the brain adapts, learns and stores information, in other words neuroplasticity. 

Let's examine glue for a moment:

According to Urban Dictionary it is "Something you use to stick something to something".  The Oxford dictionary says it can also be described as "Paying close attention to something". 

I believe all mental blocks, 90% left- or right brain mentalities and about half of all the other so-called psychological and brain-impaired conditions on the face of the earth are the result of the brain becoming "unglued". So, even if I could unglue my brain, it wouldn't  be advisable. I imagine most of us would like to have a "glued" brain, don't you think?
Imagine having this conversation: Hi, how are you?......Glued thanks!  

To combat mental blocks and all the other kinds of mentalities, the answer lies in two important actions:

Paying close attention and sticking to the basics! These two are the building blocks for everyday neurofunction. If you can listen and observe before you do or say anything, you are utilizing your neuroplasticity to the full! 

This twofold way of thinking can literally fix you. No more virtual world existence................ just life as it should be: simple!

Writing again

Why do I write?
When I first heard about blogging I thought it was ridiculous. Why would someone (anyone?) want to read my diary? Untill I realised no-one has to see it, and I could access it even on my cell wherever and whenever I chose to.

It is a lot like switching to a kindle instead of real paper books. At first you think it is ridiculous, and then, when you realise you don't have to travel with a bag full of diaries and reading material, the idea becomes rather appealing! And then.......when you actually make the decision to try it, you realise you can have all the Bible translations you want on it, reference material, and even mail the notes you jot down.......you are hooked!!!!! Completely and utterly hooked, never to be rehabilitated again. 
And so, when you are done marveling at technology, you can even add "tree-hugger" to your list of keeping the world green. 

Then I sort of stopped blogging........deciding I should write a book. And before I knew it, I deserted my blog, not realising this was where my initial brainstorming began. I have to live what I write, "test the theory", as it were. 

So here I am once again, knowing that the storm of the brain has to begin with just words of something I just HAVE to say.

Showtime!

On the day of one of my "huge" birthdays I had to attend a dinner party for the sake of peace in the home.....one of the most difficult things I've had to endure in my entire birthday life. For some it may seem trivial or selfish, but for me my birthday is sacred, a day to reflect on where I come from, a day on which I get to do whatever I want or see fit to do. I went from extremely upset at being unheard and ignored to forced resolve and showbiz mode, the one being almost impossible to do without implementing the other.
And the result was a void of at least a quarter of my day , my brain telling my birthday "please hold" whilst trying to find a cue......
The most difficult part was to act out enjoyment and happiness in a survival mode, ready to react when poked. Especially when my heart is always displayed on my sleeve, a "what you see is what you get" nonchalantness,  ever pursuing the muchness of life.
My brain kept on telling my senses to look for the flowers along the way, and my senses repeatedly coming back, saying "what..?", frantically finding nothing. All the usual coping skills fail and I am left with a shell, a nothinhgness and numb desolate brain wandering in and out of empty converstions, fake courtesy and conforming garble.
So here I am, already in the next day, still trying to recover the call, but my birthday already hung up......

Manners and Srennam

Wish I knew how to handle people without manners. Not even Twitter or Facebook is the way to go because my parents taught me to be civil at all times. So, how do I indeed be myself?? Its like this semi-crumbled wall ready to topple at any minute, but wonderfully manages to to stay upright. A bit like the Leaning Tower.....people have waited for centuries and yet, nothing happens!! But they do not see what is happening underneath as the earth it stands on quietly shifts and retreats. The worst is, when it eventually does topple,  people will say, " oh my goodness, did it really fall?" or, " I can't believe it, it actually went down!" Duh!!! You don't say.....!
People seem to be either indifferent/careless or too correct (politically/personally). Either way, being yourself does not fit in with any of these templates. If they do care, they are fake and if they don't care, they are selfish. So which am I? I am definitely fake toward people who let me down, after which I turn honest to the point of being too direct/tactfully insulting. I am selfish since I turned 40 because nobody ever considered me worthy before, and due to the fact that I now speak my mind, I am labelled as the don't care type. Thus my conclusion about mankind is somewhat confusing. However, the one thing about myself that is undeniably true is the fact that I find it extremely difficult to act normal....my father used to say there are no grey areas with me, and although I pride myself on trying the nonchalant thing, I admit I totally failed the test!
Normal to me is what is expected, normal is safe mode, normal is to blend in, be unobtrusive, normal is to do and say what is expected (regardless of one's personality and 'uniqueness'). Oh, I am fully conscious that each person is unique, but do they actually know what their own unique looks like? There are groups of people who are unique, such as the cycling club or the hippies in a commune. But, are the individuals inside these group still living out their unique persona outside of being a group member? Are they all 100% bought into the group's way of life? There is one true test to determine the answer: are they energised or are they constantly fighting fatigue?
Within these answers lie a million other issues also pertaining to humankind: amongst others, to live energised, do what is needed to generate energy and learning to listen to our bodies. People have NO interest whatsoever in other people's health lives and generally expects all people to permanently run on empty. The first people on earth were more intelligent than any person living today. They did what they needed to do, not HAD to finish, and knew when to rest and rejuvenate. They lived much longer than we can dream of, had fewer diseases, more herbal nutrition and of course, survival instinct. This instinct goes against all "rules" of normal as we know it and above all is not indusive to conforming. This instinct creates the Amundsens and Armstrongs of the world, reduces champions to drug users and children to outcasts. Could it be that maybe, just maybe, if people were allowed to stay in that caveman-like state while growing technologically, things turned out a little differently? Sure, mankind is starting to realise they need to rectify the mistakes, but unfortunately the cure will remain unattainable. So at the risk of becoming wildly unpopular, I now , still being mindful, speak my mind. To everyone. About everything, anything and anybody. Like it or not, this is me.

At last, something!

To be or not to be......that is indeed my question today. To have been a resident of Doringkloof one week ago, and now a temporary resident of Hermanus, only to be a semi-permanent Namibian in about 3 weeks, to be or not to be is indeed a valid question! Seeing as I've always felt like a resident of the world, it's not supposed to be a huge thing, but surprisingly it kind-of became one due to a number of things. For one, my house is divided into Upington, Frasers In Jozi and Hermanus. Transport includes two family vehicles and a huge pantechnicon which, according to the Oxford Dictionary, means "a large van for transporting furniture". It is also no surprise to read of its origin: "mid 19th century: from pan- 'all' + tekhnikon 'piece of art', originally the name of a bazaar in London for all kinds of artistic work, later converted into a furniture warehouse" Well that about sums it all up, all my pieces of art in a furniture warehouse....hahahahahahaha, a real bazaar of sorts! So, to be is the only thing I can do right now, because 'Not to be' will destroy me. To be is the way I see things right now, feel deep down in my core, back to the only thing I know how: B R E A T H E and Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming! (to those unfortunate souls who don't watch animation, get a life and go see Dory in 'Finding Nemo')

Hello, is this me you're looking for?

Hello, this is my first blog and I am learning fast......or, at least, I think so!
Diary of a brain?  Yes, that is 'short' for: a brain is designed to create a whole new way of life within a life, allowing the host to be supernaturally connected to the supernatural!
Now, I would imagine this sounds freaky, but this is not about weird spirits and stuff, its just about my brain.....a brain which never stops, never knows the meaning of normal, has enormous trouble trying to act 'normal'.....and I will be pondering, sharing, questioning and talking about all of this as I walk around in this maze of endless patterns, power and little green men.  
Talk to you soon