Manners and Srennam

Wish I knew how to handle people without manners. Not even Twitter or Facebook is the way to go because my parents taught me to be civil at all times. So, how do I indeed be myself?? Its like this semi-crumbled wall ready to topple at any minute, but wonderfully manages to to stay upright. A bit like the Leaning Tower.....people have waited for centuries and yet, nothing happens!! But they do not see what is happening underneath as the earth it stands on quietly shifts and retreats. The worst is, when it eventually does topple,  people will say, " oh my goodness, did it really fall?" or, " I can't believe it, it actually went down!" Duh!!! You don't say.....!
People seem to be either indifferent/careless or too correct (politically/personally). Either way, being yourself does not fit in with any of these templates. If they do care, they are fake and if they don't care, they are selfish. So which am I? I am definitely fake toward people who let me down, after which I turn honest to the point of being too direct/tactfully insulting. I am selfish since I turned 40 because nobody ever considered me worthy before, and due to the fact that I now speak my mind, I am labelled as the don't care type. Thus my conclusion about mankind is somewhat confusing. However, the one thing about myself that is undeniably true is the fact that I find it extremely difficult to act normal....my father used to say there are no grey areas with me, and although I pride myself on trying the nonchalant thing, I admit I totally failed the test!
Normal to me is what is expected, normal is safe mode, normal is to blend in, be unobtrusive, normal is to do and say what is expected (regardless of one's personality and 'uniqueness'). Oh, I am fully conscious that each person is unique, but do they actually know what their own unique looks like? There are groups of people who are unique, such as the cycling club or the hippies in a commune. But, are the individuals inside these group still living out their unique persona outside of being a group member? Are they all 100% bought into the group's way of life? There is one true test to determine the answer: are they energised or are they constantly fighting fatigue?
Within these answers lie a million other issues also pertaining to humankind: amongst others, to live energised, do what is needed to generate energy and learning to listen to our bodies. People have NO interest whatsoever in other people's health lives and generally expects all people to permanently run on empty. The first people on earth were more intelligent than any person living today. They did what they needed to do, not HAD to finish, and knew when to rest and rejuvenate. They lived much longer than we can dream of, had fewer diseases, more herbal nutrition and of course, survival instinct. This instinct goes against all "rules" of normal as we know it and above all is not indusive to conforming. This instinct creates the Amundsens and Armstrongs of the world, reduces champions to drug users and children to outcasts. Could it be that maybe, just maybe, if people were allowed to stay in that caveman-like state while growing technologically, things turned out a little differently? Sure, mankind is starting to realise they need to rectify the mistakes, but unfortunately the cure will remain unattainable. So at the risk of becoming wildly unpopular, I now , still being mindful, speak my mind. To everyone. About everything, anything and anybody. Like it or not, this is me.

At last, something!

To be or not to be......that is indeed my question today. To have been a resident of Doringkloof one week ago, and now a temporary resident of Hermanus, only to be a semi-permanent Namibian in about 3 weeks, to be or not to be is indeed a valid question! Seeing as I've always felt like a resident of the world, it's not supposed to be a huge thing, but surprisingly it kind-of became one due to a number of things. For one, my house is divided into Upington, Frasers In Jozi and Hermanus. Transport includes two family vehicles and a huge pantechnicon which, according to the Oxford Dictionary, means "a large van for transporting furniture". It is also no surprise to read of its origin: "mid 19th century: from pan- 'all' + tekhnikon 'piece of art', originally the name of a bazaar in London for all kinds of artistic work, later converted into a furniture warehouse" Well that about sums it all up, all my pieces of art in a furniture warehouse....hahahahahahaha, a real bazaar of sorts! So, to be is the only thing I can do right now, because 'Not to be' will destroy me. To be is the way I see things right now, feel deep down in my core, back to the only thing I know how: B R E A T H E and Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming! (to those unfortunate souls who don't watch animation, get a life and go see Dory in 'Finding Nemo')

Hello, is this me you're looking for?

Hello, this is my first blog and I am learning fast......or, at least, I think so!
Diary of a brain?  Yes, that is 'short' for: a brain is designed to create a whole new way of life within a life, allowing the host to be supernaturally connected to the supernatural!
Now, I would imagine this sounds freaky, but this is not about weird spirits and stuff, its just about my brain.....a brain which never stops, never knows the meaning of normal, has enormous trouble trying to act 'normal'.....and I will be pondering, sharing, questioning and talking about all of this as I walk around in this maze of endless patterns, power and little green men.  
Talk to you soon