Lockdown 35

Lockdown Day 35 - 30 April 2020

To start something new means you need to let go of something. This applies to almost everything in life.  Being in Lockdown indefinitely (and this is basically what a leveled Lockdown means) has amped up this life truth. Not only are we looking at a different normal, but we are also letting go or mourning what was. 

I keep asking myself what I would've done if level 4 did not allow outdoor exercise. I would've been terribly upset, that's no lie. But I had no control, nor would I in future have any control over this. Áfter the tantrums I was going to stand before a choice. Choose a different approach or break the law and face the consequences. A different  perspective takes more blood sweat and tears than breaking the law. For people like me who have trouble changing course from what I believe to be the only way, it would've been a war. An inner battle which would poison my outer life. Fortunately it wasn't meant to be and I will be walking my dog tomorrow morning. But, because the control is not in my hands, I still need to adopt a different attitude from here on. I shall choose life daily, lift my praises to the heavens and take time to be with God, even if things are bad out there and humankind looks as if they're fighting a losing battle in a war nobody thinks is a war. 

War or not, I shall stay with God, because He is the only One who is the Way forward. And, He's really got this. 

Lockdown 34

Lockdown Day 34 - 29 April 2020

While dreaming of a long, silent underwater swim (thanks to Einstein), I woke abruptly when our alarm went off. At first I thought I had supersonic hearing and was caught up in a dolphin pod's eco-location chatter. A while later we got the news that the minister of health is seriously considering banning outdoor exercise. I was immediately transported from my silent underwater state of mind to a wrestling cage where my opponent was slapping me on my rib cage, causing me to catch my breath sharply, flopping onto the floor, faintly hearing the referee counting 10, 9, 8 ......

Everything in me was screaming but I could not utter a sound. The only thing I kept thinking was they can wake me up after Lockdown. It took more than 30 minutes for me to start my normal Wednesday regime. I wonder how many people just keep on keeping on, beacause if they don't, they'll fall apart. Crying in the shower or behind a mask is most probably some of the coping mechanisms people use. "Nothing like a good cry to make you feel better", my granny used to say. 

A beacon of light were the group calls from my regular coffee friends and family (Mom and Sis) ; a very loud shout out for you guys! 

Following my own resolve I baked and cooked and the hours flew as the government officials were discussing education and back to school dates. And yes I tasted and snacked and the chocolate things started to do their antidepressant magic. I was breathing. And waiting for Truth to find me. My ears were fine-tuned for any news that could pluck me out of my bipolar day. 

And finally, just when I was contemplating an empty blog for lack of anything to say, we heard the words, "Outdoor exercise may take place between 6 and 9am." I felt the heaviness lift and a quiet calm return. For now I am eternally thankful for any outdoor exercise time and utter a silent "yes" for the early morning slot when it is cold and dark, my best time of day. Not wanting to jinx anything, and being cautiously optimistic, I shall reserve my anticipated excitement for Friday morning. 

Whatever happens, I shall breathe. I won't look back. I shall look up and keep on keeping on until we get to the other 

side of this utterly bizarre situation. 

I shall spare a thought for everyone in our country who are fighting their own inner battles and pray for all who don't know the God' who's got this. This is my quiet Truth tonight.

Lockdown 33

Lockdown Day 33 - 28 April 2020

I love, love, LOVE swimming and water and the thought of standing on a diving platform above a deep, inviting swimming pool gets me excited. But on this day, Day 33,  we are hovering on the edge of Level 5 on the verge of stepping down into Level 4 which definitely does not elicit the same anticipatory feelings as diving into water. Unless of course my usual walking habits may resume. 

Subliminally I feel a tad excited about the possibility of being able to walk my dog somewhere else than through the house (a mission she mostly aborts). But I am cautious about letting the excitement run rampant, because no rules have been stipulated as yet and the numbers are climbing...... which means I can expect to be disappointed come Friday. In which case I might join the dog on the carpet in the middle of the matchbox to watch in tennis fashion as my hubby walks for the both of us. I can also consider n proper tantrum, although I think risking a neck injury from "tennis watching" would be less painful than trying to throw myself on the floor. 

Trying to substitute the thought of not having my walks back with baking everything I hate baking or never tried before shall be my therapy. Of course this implies that I will have to taste (and eat) it too, which  is just like the opposite of a hunger strike. If you catch my drift. Knowing myself, I will probably start walking again to burn the calories my disappointed soul will consume. A kind of self-shock therapy, if you will. Hopefully this tactic to keep exercising in the matchbox won't be necessary, but a girl has to have a plan! Of course I will also take "grass swimming" into consideration - the green room has just enough space for this. The winter cold could make up for the water.  (Hehehe) I chuckle at the thought of my housemates peering through the window wondering if they should rescue me or cheer me on! 

Just before I turn in, these less known words of Albert Einstein cone to mind, "I think 99 times and I find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me." 

Knowing how it feels to swim in silence gives me hope. And so Truth shall come because He is a person. Thank you God, for holding us all firmly in Your hands. 

Lockdown 32

Today was Freedom day. Suddenly all the reasons for celebrating the freedom of our country has diminished into a past that seems slightly forgotten. In the face of this virus, the question on many people’s lips is, “What freedom?” And so I started cleaning my house today, pondering this question. Freedom day is for me too. Although I am in lockdown, there must be something I can celebrate. Looking out the window from the top floor, the raindrops rolling down the glass draw my attention. And I realise it is all a question of perception. I can fix my focus on the glass without “seeing” anything on the outside. Or, I can focus on the rain and all the other things outside in the rain. Four walls and boundaries cannot stop me from being free. 

My freedom lies in the choices I make every day, all day. I am free to choose to go outside and feel the raindrops on my skin and appreciate the beauty of fresh raindrops glistening in the trees. I am free to choose to inhale the fresh air brought in by the rain. I am free to choose to clean my house and love the smell of clean. I am free to choose to dance while vacuuming and sing while dusting. My freedom lies in making the best choice there is. Having a happy place in my mind I can go where my spirit can fly, is my freedom. And I can do that anytime and any place. So I celebrate all the facets of freedom to be found in lockdown, including the choice of having faith in my Creator and loving Jesus who died so I could be free. In the words of John 8:36, “So if the Son makes you free, then you are unquestionably free.” So today in lockdown, freedom day is the celebration of choice. I choose life because I believe with all my heart God’s got this.

Lockdown 31

Lockdown Day 31 - 26 April 2020

Following yesterday's hope-filled song lingering in the back of my mind, I realised hope is one of the many opposites of worry. Emily Dickinson wrote a poem in 1891 titled "Hope is the thing with feathers." (wow) In it she describes hope as a bird that is ever present in the human soul. It sings, especially when times get tough. The first verse goes like this:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

She captures the essence of what hope is for us all; and what better way to let hope spring eternal by letting that thing with feathers sing and sing and sing until your heart flies! Just start singing from the depths of your being and move to its rhythm.

Don't let anyone get in the way of letting that hope flow. Just look at this little girl performing one of ny favourite songs:

https://youtu.be/J7_k5tUeoUc

So today when I went to the green room with my coffee, once again I found the tiniest silky and very fine feather on the grass next to my chair. It was like a

confirmation to hold on, no matter what. Hope will always sing and never stop.

It sings deep in our spirit where God put it for us to draw from in times like these. Because He wants us to know that He's got this.

(PS to open the links you need to tap and hold it and the choose youtube) 

Lockdown 30

Lockdown Day 30 - 25 April 2020

While contemplating a little victory dance this morning when I was the only person in Checkers (sadly my outfit still needs refinement), an unsolicited thought crossed my mind:  this is réálly happening! And yet another back at home listening to the Q&A on channel 403:  I have NO choice in this. With regards to the future, the only thing that I keep on telling myself is Jesus' words in Matthew 6:34, “Do not, then, worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow shall have its own worries. Each day has enough evil of itself." 

Do not worry, even if you drop a milk bottle you've just bought because it was slippery from the disinfectant. Don't worry, even if the floor you washed last night is flooded with precious milk you could've used to bake with or have two delicious coffees with. Do not worry even if you have to wash the floor three times while flushing the milk down the drain every time you wring the floor rag. Do not worry even if you cry all the tears you possibly can but they just keep coming. 

To grieve about the loss of something is as old as the world itself. So maybe we need to allow ourselves to grieve a life we almost certainly will have to wait very long for to go back to normal. And we should also consider having grace with others who are mourning their losses. Having a meltdown or a have-at-it session with or without your housemates is to be expected after 4 weeks of lockdown life, as each of us process these stages in different time frames. And if you get stuck in a stage (i.e. considering murder or public nudism), find your "go-to-person", and talk it through. Whatever happens, do not worry. It's not worth it. I've heard the words "Do not fear" are written in the Bible 365 times, one for every day of the year. Proof that God knows. He really does have this. So I say goodnight with this song by Rain for Roots (enjoy!):

https://youtu.be/EbbGjx4ZKL8

Lockdown 29

Lockdown Day 29 - 24 April 2020

In my line of work we normally have "life" questions for the students and young adults we work with. One of the questions is, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"  Well, I suppose this could be very difficult to answer now that we have an abominable virus keeping us indoors. What if you had plans to become a famous rock star with thousands of fans screaming at your feet, or a motivational speaker at large corporate companies, or even a wellness coach in a dream tourist destination? I suppose with a strong online prescence and a few tweaks and adaptations a lot can be done. The truth is we really don't know where this is going. We are very slowly beginning to realise that our lives are not going to magically change back to how it was. Ever.  

It took 29 days for us to adapt to social distancing and now we are going to be able to perfect the habit as phase 4 continues. I only have one problem. I am an extrovert who finds it very difficult to act normal. So now, apart from having to act normal, I will have to keep everyone at arm's length. Mmmmm, sounds like a clashing combo.  (Doing "dancing queen" down an aisle in Checkers sound much more exciting.)

We need to know who we are in order to fully adapt and embrace the new social way. Like the rooibos tea advert of the ground hostess for an airline who is about to drink her tea when she is interrupted by a passenger who arrives in a huff wanting her to help him with a booking. And when it looks like she reacts too slowly he leans in and says impatiently, "Do you know who I am?" She then looks him in the eyes while taking a sip of rooibos, grabs the microphone and announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a man here who doesn't know who he is, if there is somebody who can help...." 😅 

Knowing who we are and our design makes for an exciting life everyday. So spending time with God our Designer makes sense, as He is the only One who can see into the future. Rather do this with Him, because He's got this.

Lockdown 28

Lockdown Day 28 - 23 April 2020

Dear Mr Prez,

today I would like to talk to you. Actually I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time. Ever since it became evident you would become Prez. I even have a letter saved in drafts I wrote in those days and had plans to actually email it to you this year. And I also wanted to meet you and have a long talk. But now, things don’t look to good for that. So that is why I decided to talk to you on the eve of a post lockdown SA, because I suspect you are going to be even busier after this. 

I want to talk to you about a person we both knew. A person who is no longer with us, but who left a deep impression on us both. I want to know who Cyril was in those times and what dreams he had. I want to know if those dreams have ever made it onto your life agenda. I want to look into your eyes and see the depth I see on tv when you talk to the people. I want to know who your “go-to-person” is and what you think about when you walk into your office everyday. I would love to talk to you about how you stay true and real. About your first thought when you wake up in the morning and the last before you retire in the evening. 

I hope with my whole heart that one day we will be able to meet, talk and laugh together. Mr Prez, I would like to make you the best cup of coffee I can and talk about your faith that has touched my heart. Because every time you say may God bless our country, I know that you also know that God’s got this.

Lockdown 27

Lockdown Day 27 - 22 April 2020

Today started with a completely unfounded "woe is me" feeling. Nothing happened or upset me. I just felt that way. "It could be an unexpected hormone change," my inner scientist speculated, adding, "or maybe the brain got too little oxygen." 

It took a stretching session, 2 cups of green tea with orange and ginger and a rehydrating therapy session in the shower for my spirit to come to the party, "Look outside and see how the sun comes up everyday." That was it. The sameness of everything. I needed to change the way I was looking at it.  Finding stability in everyday things is what makes it easy to continue. These are the miracles. Waking up, opening my eyes, I can see, feel , hear, taste and touch. Choosing to appreciate the mundane and seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary things of life. I am once again reminded of that ancient proverb that says, "Chop wood, carry water, walk the earth." 

Stay real in an unreal world. And how unreal it is. The only real and constant in the world is One who has the earth firmly in the palm of His hand. Who has entrusted us with incredible design and ability to keep going no matter what. In the words of Hebrews 13:8, who is "eternally changeless, always the same yesterday and today and forever." 

God, the omnipotent and omniscient trinity, is always the same! Therein lies my peace tonight. And of course He's GOT THIS!

Lockdown 26

Lockdown Day 26 - 21 April 2020

I can hardly believe we have done 26 days of this Lockdown. And I suppose the question on many people's minds is exactly how we are going to be "let out" after lockdown. That is, assuming our Prez doesn't extend the time once again. So now at the prospect of being let out, I suddenly find my thoughts in a tug of war. At first, I go, "aaaawwww, it wasn't that bad", followed by, "oh yay, where shall I go first?" And of course a tug of war wouldn't be complete without a healthy dose of reality where I go, "Oh gosh, do I want to do normal again?" To be honest, facing reality is daunting. After all, this is about a virus that brought the whole earth to a grinding halt.

This is the part where people start reacting like captives who build a relationship with their captors and sort of feel sad once their release becomes imminent.  Also, it's fast becoming the norm for all countries to extend their lockdown periods with a viable set of rules and there is even talk of everyone wearing masks in public for at least another year. 

I, for one, still need a little time to refine my outfit for the longer hours on the outside. I think I'd prefer to wear BLING, dress like the Dancing Queen ánd my 

masked look from the neck up. I find myself strangely excited at the prospect. What if we all celebrate life a little by réálly dressing for the times we need to be out and about. Forget about boring day clothes and black on black. And ban practical and functional!

Let your mind go on this one. Think I'll definitely challenge my local friends for a socially distant fancy dress! 

YOLO - you only live once. Make it count. 

The reason for this is simple: you are stronger than you think and you will not let a measly virus cause you to cower in the corner. Rather celebrate your existence by choosing God's joy He has in spades for anyone who follows Him. He's got this:  past present and future.

Lockdown 25

Lockdown Day 25 - 20 April 2020

Brainstorming is very interesting and used all over the world by many people. The wikipedia definition is, "a way of coming up with new and innovative ideas for projects or solutions." 

To me it is a composite verb, made up of two independent words: Brain and Storm. The '-ing' suffix indicates an ongoing process. Brain is the mental muscle in the scull and Storm is defined as any disturbed state of a body especially affecting its surface, and strongly implying movement. 

So, using this defenition, to me a brainstorming exercise is when my mental muscles are continuously disturbed (did I mention I find it very difficult to be normal?). And yes, it does strongly affect my 'surface' and sparks movement in many ways. In short, brainstorming is my happy place, because it gives me the freedom to be creative beyond the parameters. Thinking outside the box. 

In nature, a perfect storm is a rare combination of events or circumstances creating an unusually bad situation Sounds like this abominable virus, mmmmm (hello Lockdown! 🤪). 

My idea of a perfect storm is the mirror of that statement: an unusually bad situation from which a rare combination of events and circumstances can originate. YEAH, now that's a thought. Try to generate a rare and special outcome from this Lockdown, something that moves you on the inside and you feel strongly affected by. You never know, maybe ABBA could be revived!!! 

Oh, and while you're at it, take a walk on the wild side and take God up on His Word when He says in Exodus 31:3-4 that He has filled us with His Spirit "in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all work, to make designs" and believe in Him to show you a way. After all, He's the only One who's got this! 

Lockdown 24

Lockdown Day 24 - 19 April 2020

Days like yesterday make the quiet restful days like today worthwhile. 

To rest and recharge for the next week that lies ahead is my normal Sunday routine with little to do in the kitchen and more time in the green room (aka the matchbox garden). So after church on youtube I made a teacake which I enjoyed with coffee in the sun. I love a cool autumn morning with the faint rustle in the trees and the sun rays warming my skin. The kind that subtly announce winter without the obvious signs. The sky becomes a hazy blue with cream undertones and the trees silently await their time to let go. Letting go of the leaves they carry for a season. Some trees in the poplar family have already started. The reeds close to the dam have also sent out their seeds on every wind they could and the little red male finches start losing the vibrant colours and are looking rather frazzled and ordinary. Just looking at nature preparing for winter can teach us a lot about slow living, rest and restoration. Especially now that we have the time. We are halfway through the 42 days that is needed to let go of a bad habit and instill a new good one. What better way to do this along with the autumn leaves that will soon be falling to the ground. Letting go of a habit you have grown for a long time is admittedly not so easy. This is why 42 days are needed. But this is Lockdown. 42 days plus Lockdown equals that once in a lifetime chance to do this. Give your soul and body much needed rest and allow your spirit to do the work. This your innate design by a Creator who knows His stuff. A Creator who's got this. 

Lockdown 23

Lockdown Day 23 - 18 April 2020

What is grace in Lockdown? To have a full day. Those days when you hit the ground running, having breakfast after lunch and time just feels faster than normal. The million little things that need to be done every week. 

To accomplish what you set out to do, no matter how mundane, is truly something. Somehow 'old school' just works. Get up at a set time, make the bed, do those exercises for the day, attend to everything you need to make life better for all your housemates sharing a space. Receiving a group call from two wise and young friends just put the extra yellow in my sunshine and enough courage to go get us something fresh for dinner from the grocery store. 

My list also included changing linen, going through the post store spray/strip/shower ritual 

and baking a sweet potato soufflé, make the beds and yet again disinfect the kitchen surfaces. 

Through it all I remember my friend who lives on a top floor with no grass to walk on and a tiny veranda that hardly gets any sun, and I say thank you for my small lawn. I remember to look up and see the patterns the clouds make and I say thanks for the air I breathe. In everything there is a positive and a negative, and a choice to be made between the two. When all is done and the day nears its end, contentment will lie in the result of that choice, not a ticked off list on the fridge. One of my friends messaged me with an inspired piece of prose of how God comes to us women whose job it is to always be busy. He sees us and if we just open our eyes we will see Him, even in the most ordinary places and things. What brings us face to face with divinity?  Knowing God's got this. 

Lockdown 22

Lockdown Day 22 - 17 April 2020 

The thing about an open fire is its potential. Potential to harm and potential to warm. In our South African 'braai' culture a fire on a  Friday and/or Saturday is 'lekker' and for some even mandatory. For us, living the matchbox life, it definitely is mandatory. This is where I give a loud shout out to all lockdown Moms, large kitchens or small, doesn't matter. I am not a herd person, but I feel this one strongly. Running any kitchen and house in lockdown is really admirable. I say this partly because I hope what Im doing is nothing short of awesome (mm hm aha YEAH 💃) And I'm sure many spouses and children have to bear Mom on her good as well as not so good Lockdown days. So hats off to them too! And when it comes to preparing food al fresco or on a fire, they definitely are my heroes! There's just something special about a lamb chop that has been grilled on a fire. No stove can copy that taste. The little bit of char on the fat just does it for me! A fire that is not looked after will incinerate your food, but a fire that is nurtured to just the right heat can produce 5 star food. Being a provider and/or nurturer requires of us to have a fire in our hearts for our families or our closest ones. That fire cannot be put out, no matter what we have to endure. Though challenging, we are strong and hold on tightly, because this too shall pass. And one day, maybe a year from now, we might find ourselves venturing out to visit a friend or family member (what a thought!) and maybe share that unthinkable handshake or a hug, even holding hands and praying together. We will be forever changed. But thank goodness that God is eternally changeless. I leave you with the words of Zechariah 2:5, " 'For I,’ declares the Lord , ‘will be a wall of fire around her [protecting her from enemies], and I will be the glory in her midst.’ ”

And yes, He's got this. 

Lockdown 21

Lockdown Day 21 - 16 April 2020 

The same 'watching from afar' feeling from yesterday followed me into today, the 21st day of Lockdown. Can you believe it!!! We were wondering how we would get through this and look, 21 days have passed.  Astounding. And still kind of 'movie-theatre-ish'.  While standing in front of my window, feeling as if I'm on the banks of a very wide river in flood (I've read the Amazon is 11km wide in drought season), watching the world's countries floating by, forced to go where the water takes them. In a sense everyone is incapacitated. A captive contentment fast becoming an inner conviction. All because of an unseen virus. Crazy world. 

But, when I turn away from the big picture, I see families enjoying precious time together and people redeeming lost time with their loved ones. Others are helping with resources and all over there are supplications in prayer going up to restore relationships on earth and in heaven. Over the past 21 days many have learned how to be more mindful, more thankful and more prayerful. One of my wonderful friends and I share a saying: "look for the little flowers along the way". We say this to each other when going through tough times and need a friend to talk to. The little flowers can represent anything from flowers to little jewels in our path to remind us that God's got this. So tonight I encourage you to look for the 'little flowers' in the next 14 days. A symbol of Godly sustenance. Like the tiniest baby feather I received this morning, reminding me that God has still got this. 

Lockdown 20

Lockdown Day 20 - 15 April 2020 

At the moment I feel like somebody living on the edge of a Drive Inn. Good visuals, no audio. Like a silent movie. I see the statistics and progression around the globe of this abominable virus and at the same time feel like a spectator. When I'm home and safe. 

But every time I go to the grocery shop I am confronted with all kinds of feelings  like a chorm chaser in the middke of a hurricane. I see a world that is reeling from the shock. I see ghost shops exhibiting stock that doesn't move and wonder about mall rent and great losses. I imagine myself weaving through an unseen cloud, trying to dodge the virus. I see fear in many people's eyes and in some a look of resignation too. But mostly I am shocked to the core by the people I encounter who do not care. People without a mask (I know the virus can go through one, but Jeez it HAS to be better if you keep your spit to yourself), ignoring the distancing rules and literally shoving their face in the personal space of others, blasting their droplets everywhere (YUK) . People refusing hand sanitizer (what kind!?) at the door. People using the bathroom with their child and leaving without washing hands. Some parenting skills🙄. People walking in groups of three or more, forcing others out of their way and then laughing about it. And then there are the deathly (no pun intended) defiant people who sneeze and cough all over without using their elbow and then touches products they don't want before choosing the ones they do want. Really? I think they are the ones completely dissociated and absent from their own lives. Or maybe they're serial killers. Who knows!? 

And then it rains like the monsoon rains and we watch the spectacular lightning show on display and I find myself wanting to lift my arms and shout "hear the Voice of the Lord"!! And suddenly everything else falls into perspective and I get in bed with a hope and faith I cannot explain but am 100% sure of. 100% sure that God is good all the time, and all the time God's got this! 

Lockdown 19

Lockdown Day 19 - 14 April 2020 

Good songs have a way of sticking and recurring like a maxiplay on repeat. And the only way to get it out of your head is to either keep on singing it out loud until it leaves or to start singing another one over and over. Problem is, that one will also stay a while. Today I started out with Dancing Queen while clocking up a mean 7km on my walking "route" and after breakfast, while sorting that last cupboard I got it out by listening to podcasts. For a while I had 'song-silence'. And this, for me, is very rare. It is a lot like losing your muse while writing a book. No matter how good a writer you are or how well your notes are organised, if the muse went fishing, the muse ain't coning back without a fish. Yes, you can continue writing, but right brain writers like me just waffle on. And when you read what you wrote in your muse-less state, you feel like those America's Got Talent judges slapping the 'x' to reject a performance. The song silence extended into another shopping stint at the pharmacy during a turrential downpour, figuring nobody would be this brave. As Simba from The Lion King said, "I laugh in the face of danger". After dinner we played Tangram to get the student in the house on a good brain wave, and suddenly my anthem was back, just like that. And now, ending the day with a mug of hot spicy Glühwein, 

I resolve to dance to the anthem tomorrow. Good night all my fellow locked down people, I leave you with the words of Jesus from John16:33b, "take courage, I have overcome the world." 

Oh yes, God's got this.

Lockdown 18

Lockdown Day 18 - 13 April 2020

Cleaning house doesn't have to be a schlep. It can be therapeutic. Especially when you can catch up on your favourite youtube posts. Today I want to give a shout out for friendship - the family kind and the friend kind;  the kind you will walk barefoot to Timbuktu for. The daily 'non-virus' music, jokes and inspirational teachings you share with me just brighten up my day and before I know it the house is spick and span! Wonder what we would do without internet and social media in a time such as this? My dad used to say "no man is an island". This has never been truer than now. According to grammarist this means that "no one is truly self sufficient - everyone must rely on the company and comfort of others in order to thrive." We need each other and thanks to all the platforms in media it is actually, and of course virtually possible to stay in contact with our people. 

It is now more than ever we need encouragement from each other to stay faith-filled, on track and focused. So today, I had two very impromptu conversations over whatsapp video calls, and both were heart warming, leaving me with a feeling of contented joy. To belong is one thing but to survive on that is completely different. It becomes the new normal, the status quo of living life as a part of something much bigger. I know for sure we are here to glorify God, who most definitely created us with a plan in mind. That is why, with our ear pressed to His heart we can rest confidently in His love, because He's got this. 

Lockdown 17

Lockdown Day 17 -  12 April 2020 

The day started off with a peaceful quiet. I woke with the first sun struggling through the tree, casting a little rainbow into the room. After church on youtube my daily coffee infused sun-bath was rudely interrupted by my Chinese neighbours' screaming match that made Gordon Ramsey look good on a bad day. In a weird way it was the catalyst for the rest of the day, a sort of call to 'halt' for a moment. 

So I decided today would be my "pause" day. Pause to reflect on Jesus that said He would rise from the dead. Pause to fully understand how the empty grave made my life full. Pause to realise my total human iniquity in the face of a Friend who chose to lose His life so I could have mine. But because He did this I cán live and I cán dance! This is precisely why, from today, I won't count the days, but rather try my flawed human best to make the days count! I hope for fruitful work days and joyful play days. Rainy days and sunny days. Soul flying days and earthgrounding days. Days with a warm heart and salty tears. And days with a spirit so large, the spirit world will take notice of the Lion of Judah who has my family's back. And yes, mostly days knowing God's well and truly got this. 

Lockdown 16

Lockdown Day 16 - 11 April 2020 

And so our Prez announced the decision that Lockdown is to be extended. As Suzelle would put it, "There's it". We suspected, secretly hoping it wouldn't happen. But it did. This means our 3 weeks start again. In total it will be 35 days. 7 days short of 42. Nearly enough time to see if our new lifestyle of social distancing will stick. The Prez said there are whole communities who disregard lockdown procedure, not only endangering their own lives but the lives of their family and friends too. We can only hope this time round they will have heard. In the meantime we need to adjust once again. Is it just me or is this déjà vu? The ancient quote of Day 2 returns to my mind:

"Chop wood, carry water, walk the earth." This is what we did and in no time we reached day 14. 

So today I started off by walking 8000 steps while it rained outside. Our dog food needed replenishment so I set off a little later with my "terrorist" outfit to get a few things. 

I was met with a busier than usual scenario and silently wished the vet shop had earlier trading times. 3 hours later after spraying all the groceries and pet food, stripping, showering and washing my clothes I decided shopping is at its best a harrowing experience. To go out even more so. I wonder if I will ever be able to go back to how things were in a social context, all the while hearing the first few lines of my new anthem playing over and over in my head, "Friday night and the lights are low, looking out for a place to go, where they play the right music, getting in the swing, you come to look for a king." 

Tonight my version looks like this: Friday night and the lights are on, going nowhere is the way to go, playing my own music, dancing along, knowing I've found THE King! 

Yes, this King gives me music to dance to and faith that all will be well, because He's got this!

Lockdown 15

Lockdown Day 15 - 10 April 2020 GOOD FRIDAY

Today I am choosing to postpone my reaction to the Lockdown extension in view of Good Friday. Not because I don't respect our Prez but because I respect Jesus more. For some reason I woke this morning at 04h00,  moments before a storm broke and it started to rain. I was instantly reminded of the darkness and earthquake the Bible tells of when Jesus exhaled his last breath. In the shadow of this picture it was as if the virus did not exist but rather a silent witness of a spirit world we have no clue of. One that is governed by a completely different set of rules than the world as we know it. That is why I offer up a prayer for all in this Lockdown to look past what's before them and find solace and salvation in the arms of our Risen Redeemer. 

So today I was an onlooker into the relationships closest to me, silently displaying my shortcomings as a human being, but also showing off the amazing grace and mercy I am afforded. I vow to still my soul and let my spirit tune in. 

Speaking of a tune, all day long I had ABBA's Dancing Queen playing in my mind, and I kept on wondering why this song in this day of all days. I even googled the karaoke lower key version, obviously bringing back lots of memories. And somewhere during the day it hit me: I should dance every day as if I were the dance floor queen, and know that real joy is there for the taking, every minute of every day. So my new anthem will be Dancing Queen. Let's start to dance to the rhythm of heaven today as an act to remind us that God's got this! 

Lockdown 14

Lockdown Day 14 - 9 April 2020 

Free will - in Lockdown? Well I suppose it depends how you look at it. Anatomically your free will is located in the front of the Corpus Callosum (connects the left and right hemispheres) in the brain. All thoughts, external personal comments as well as internal conversations first go via your neurons (brain cells acting as pathways) to the free will, where it either gets accepted or rejected. The accepted thought travels to certain parts of the brain where it is pondered, nurtured and stored. The rejected thought literally vanishes like a puff of hot air! So it makes sense that you seriously think about what you are thinking about! So, when I once again stood in front of my cupboard today, I was conscious of the fact that two thoughts were competing for their existence. One was, “Do I really need to do this TODAY, when winter is still a month away?” and the second was, “Put on the music you’ve not enjoyed in months and JUST DO IT and think how great you will feel once it’s done!” Yesterday I fed the first thought. Today I fed the second. Although both had merit, the second was a looming necessity with great reward: finding anything easily, enjoying the luxury of a clean critter free cupboard, also being able to whip out my boots at a moment’s notice without wondering who have been living in them (aptly said by my coffee friend Michelle)! Now that the Prez has announced we are in this until end of April, I find myself in front of the fridge: Thought one, “Glühwein!” and thought two: “Brownies!”  While both have merit....... I suspect you know what I'm thinking! Either way, we are going to bed tonight with a lot to digest (a combo of Glühwein and Brownies is going to take ages). 

After picking up a little feather again, I know for sure:  as long as we take this to God, we know there will be an answer, there will be a way and there will surely be provision. Look up, look to our Almighty Provider, because He’s still got this!

Lockdown 13

Lockdown Day 13 - 8 April 2020

Sudden cold temperatures in April is the Free State's way of reminding me to get my winter wardrobe ready and unpacked. I yanked open the cupboard and stared at all my day clothes I haven't been wearing the last 13 days. Another tick in the truth box. I simply closed the door and decided to decide tomorrow.  Instead I decided to try out slow living today. I started with my regular stretches and strength routine, adding extra breathing for good measure. Breathing has a very important role to play in this Lockdown scenario. It lowers our stress and anxiety levels and helps focus the brain on the here and now. A very good exercise to do when you feel your housemates are playing space invaders with you, is to breathe in deeply through the nose with a closed mouth. Hold for a few seconds and then breathe out through the mouth. Do this 3 times. This way of breathing releases serotonin which is our happy hormone (now retaliation won't be an option so put away the Darth Vader looks). You can use the same technique with a few tweaks if sleep evades you at night: I call it the 4:7:8 principle. First, breathe out all the air in your lungs while lying in a sleeping position. Then you breathe in through your nose with mouth closed for 4 long, slow counts. Then hold for 7 quick counts after which you breathe out through your mouth for 8 counts. Repeat 4 times or until you fall asleep. It really works! You can also combine the two when doing your 10 minutes in the sun where your oxygen levels are freshly replenished. This also releases those backpack items weighing down your lockdown journey and sharpens your inner spirit man. And that, I have a feeling, is going to become a necessity in the coming days. A sharp spirit tuned into God's plan for this world will become a survival tool because He is for sure the ónly one who has got this firmly in His hand!

Lockdown 12

Lockdown Day 12- 7 April 2020

This is day 12. Rather unbelievable. On day 10 I wrote this is my truth. We are halfway into the Lockdown and also a quarter of the way into our lifestyle changes and adapting to home life 101. To me it feels like the first stop in a survival hike where you realise your backpack is too heavy and you need to discard things that only weigh you down. I realised today life as I knew it, has now switched places with the unthinkable. For people who were in their own "lockdown" of choice due to trauma, this is kind of 'normal" to them. For people who live in self-induced social isolation, this could be easy to a certain point. If you are a loner, preferring your own company, social distancing is a breeze.  Heck, even for extroverts like me staying home alone has its own lure and attraction. But the one thing that everyone has in common now, is the fact that we cannot really 'go' anywhere.  Impulsive weekend getaways, quick day trips to the country for Sunday Lunch or a simple quick coffee from the nearest roasters is no more. Everything else went virtual. From e-shows for musicians to YouTube church and zoom classes for ballet, aerobics, drawing and lots more. We can even do video calls! But that doesn't substitute human contact and taking the body somewhere, even if it is only to work or forage without time constraints and feeling like you're on Mars with an Oxygen tank that could run out any minute. Even the 'lucky' people who work for the providing of essential services cannot really go anywhere. A bittersweet solution. Media tell me I can travel in my mind, travel on the internet and connect worldwide with whomever I choose. But tonight when the lights are off and my devices shut down, it is just me on this little piece of earth I call home. My body went nowhere. And when I close my eyes to sleep I ask, "Dear God, I am sailing on Thy wide, wide sea; please guard my little ship for me." With Him I can go wherever He wants to take me, and for now that's enough.  In the dark of night I see the mercury-like pinkish super moon spilling it's light into our room and I know God's got this.

Lockdown 11

Lockdown Day 11- 6 April 2020 

A skipping stone is an amazing thing to pick up, but then you need a large body of water to make the magic happen...... and boy oh boy what a wonderful feeling it is when you find the perfect stone and watching it glide effortlessly over the water is first prize. But have you ever found the perfect skipping stone, but had to save it and wait until you get to the water? Sometimes the wait feels like eternity and you can almost not bear it anymore, but the stone is só perfect for you not to want to try it out so you put it in a little tissue lined box next to your bed and every night you touch its smooth surface and anticipate the excitement and sheer pleasure of that monent that is still to come.

So it also is with love. And Lockdown love too. Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary and this love between us still stands strong and steadfast. I often wonder how it would be if we were to be separated during Lockdown. I am pretty sure it would be like two special friends finding each others' hearts via cellphone chats and video calls when Lockdown happens. They can't meet or travel to each other, but the bond just keeps growing. And the anticipation too; the anticipation of meeting, and sheer pleasure of human touch once again on our skin. Just like the moment you eventually reach that body of water and get to experience what you have dreamed about. 

So tonight I celebrate love. Lockdown love. My love is locked down with me and I am thankful beyond measure that circumstances did not separate us.If you are alone celebrate the pure and most perfect love of our Creator for you. If you have found new love in this time, pray for the right time , anticipate the meeting and savour every call and chat until then. It will happen as appointed by God Himself. So enjoy the ride because God's got this.

Lockdown 10

Lockdown Day 10 - 5 April 2020

Today was my turn to take our list to the shop, and apart from feeling like a terrorist trying to fit in (funny haha) it went surprisingly smooth, the graveyard till shift being the most quiet time on a Sunday. The plan was simple, get in and out and wash myself and my stuff as best I can once home. Let it be known that the things of a post war world in movies such as Book of Eli can actually happen. This is my truth today. 

I decided to write about nature tonight for fear of a sudden onset of depro-rage. Rage for the people who started this and waited to notify the WHO and depro, well, I suspect you know. 

Around lunch time I was enjoying a little sun in our matchbox garden; inhaling the lukewarm midday air and watching our regular robin foraging through the Gaura stems dancing in the breeze like ballerinas made me feel part of the living breathing universe . The green of the grass was bright and crisp like the first green in spring. I took off my shoes and walked barefoot on the 

grass, a forgotten childhood pleasure I used to love. . I was reminded of my studies on the brain and the health benefits of amongst other things, walking barefoot on grass, such as improved glucose control, heart rate regulation, and stronger immune system. (maybe it'll also dissolve depro-rage, who knows) Now there's a thought: strengthening our immune systems sounds like the way to go in a Lockdown. Using what God gave us and made for us to keep us strong and healthy. If you don't have a little grass, find something with the same kind of texture and walk barefoot! One of my friends walked in the puddles of rain on her doorstep, and another over pillows on the floor. Here's to stronger imnunity for all, and even though the future looks dire, we will have the strength to face whatever comes our way, knowing we have the Omniscient God in our corner, and He's got this.

Lockdown 9

Lockdown Day 9 - 4 April 2020 

Last night I wrote about the 42 day principle. This is also true for changing a habit, for instance getting rid of a bad habit will take 42 days, whereafter the good habit you want to replace the bad one with also takes 42 days. So maybe this lockdown we can try to kickstart getting rid of one bad habit and simultaneously implement one good habit. Just look how quickly we got used to not touching our faces these last 2 weeks and virtually immediately mastered the hand sanitising routine. So any other bad habit could be sent packing as fast as you can say cheese, right? 

Today the rain subsided and the blue sky became dotted with woolly bright white clouds with the sun painting a mottled light pattern through the windows. While enjoying my coffee, I watched a reed buck and its calf venturing out of their hiding place to feed close to the little dam near our house. They were less skittish than usual and even playful, out in the open, something they never did in previous years. I wondered about how it would've been if us humans weren't here and they were free roaming like in the beginning. Taking a step back and zooming out in this time will most definitely reveal the effect of misplaced human superiority and the atrocities of a self centered human race. I once came across a vivid comic strip  illustration where a man is standing on a mountain, banging on his chest, shouting "I am god!" with a war cry sounding voice. In the next picture it is zoomed out from a higher mountain and suddenly this man looks smaller and his voice sounds less booming. In the next frame it is zoomed out from heaven and the archangel Michael is watching. He calls out to his friend, "Hey Gabriel, come look here!" They look down and see a minute figure sounding like a mouse, his claim to be 'god' barely audible. And then the angels roll over and laugh hysterically!

So keep the jokes coming everyone, they sometimes speak loudly to our heart. And maybe in the still of night we might be able to hear the rhythm of heaven softly chanting "God's got this". 

Lockdown 8

Lockdown Day 8 - 3 April 2020 

Rainy days have an enchanting air about them, especially when you're home. You don your comfy winter clothes, slip on your winter slippers and whip out that cosy top you always wear this time of year. And of course every hour or so you have a steaming cuppa to get you through the day's work. 

Which is pretty much how this day went after I tackled my walking route again, this time ditching a most unwilling dog ( to her this was getting weirder by the minute!) and keeping at it until I clocked up a proper distance. 

Later we had a discussion over the idiocy of people who still do not stick to lockdown rules. I was suddenly reminded of how humans react when confronted with isolation and incarceration. There was this study done on Nazi prisoners of war where the longest time span prisoners would wait while being tortured before they talk was 42 days, in other words 6 weeks. It didn't matter how badly they were tortured or for how long, they would talk after 42 days. It is also said that when on a diet, you should have whatever you want on day 42, otherwise you're going to binge after that anyway. Now I know this isnt a diet (maybe It should be), nor are we incarcerated (could've fooled me), but we are mostly isolated and 21 days is just half of that. But maybe we should plan to do something out of the ordinary on purpose on day 21. Also because it is entirely possible that we may indeed see day 42 in Lockdown. Sobering as that may be, we need to think differently about this, and fast. After seeing a video of an experiment showing how droplets are dispersed, I vowed to try online shopping (otherwise known as hurry up and wait), still not really believing this is happening to us. One thing I know for sure is I have a choice: I can let this beat me up or I can find tomorrow's music, and hearing it play, start to dance to the music today. Heaven knows God's well and truly got this. 

Lockdown 7

Lockdown Day 7 - 2 April 2020 

I read somewhere that if you desperately want something you first need to give it away. In Lockdown terms I imagine by this time the whole world would say that something is freedom. Lockdown caused this principle in reverse. A virus (come on, really.......a virus!) forced us to give up our freedom, and now we desperately want our freedom most of all. Although the homebound feeling is actually growing on me because of the fact that I can determine my own pace to get everything done, I simultaneously wish I could be in two places at one time. And this is not necessarily a physical thing, this Lockdown moves into spaces where you have to become brave and bare your soul.

A “-Got-Talent” judge recently said to a contestant who confessed to be on the spectrum “If you can’t fit into this world you should create a new one”. What an inspirationally stupid thing to say to someone who is already in his own world. Yes yes, I am probably interpreting this all wrong, but I am going to have at it anyway: a new world in an old one? Is this what the creators of this virus was thinking? Or maybe they just wanted to annihilate the old one to see if the survivors could sustain a new one? Either way, they obviously have missed one very important truth: this world was designed by a Creator with something much bigger in mind. To stand in a relationship with its inhabitants across all boundaries of natural and spiritual laws. To see who is willing to risk it all for the ultimate freedom that surpasses earthly restrictions. To see who is desperate enough to drop it all for a life in eternity. 

I shall stop wasting time on trivialities and focus on what I can do now to secure heavenly treasures. I shall do my job to the best of my ability, walk the proverbial extra mile with an eternity-driven attitude of gratitude, give and give again until this Lockdown is done and the Corona virus is NOT anymore. 

I retire tonight with another little feather in my jar, inspiration for tomorrow. And I know for sure that God’s got this.

Lockdown 6

Lockdown Day 6 - 1 April 2020 

This day started with a plan. First meditate and then exercise. I had a bad vision of myself ordering an Oros-Man suit (sidenote: that is the one onesy I will never desire) and decided to restart my exercise plan, which obviously needed to adapt to life in a matchbox dwelling. After stretching and core exercises on the mat I also shared with Roxy, our miniature Schnauzer, I mapped out a route from the corner of the garden through the garage out around our bakkie parked at the door, and back. The dog refused to participate sitting on the mat acting like someone watching tennis, probably thinking her human has finally gone mad. I decided to attach her leash to her collar and she took the bait! We did 5000 steps until the washing machine finished its load. Feeling absolutely stoked I resolved to do better next time (to all you who can walk aroud your house: you are blessed) and not to worry too much about the wet grass we were carrying in onto the floor. Oros-Man, go find another target because this woman is having a glass of Orange juice. 

I had a few laughter filled conversations which more than made up for coffee out. This sunny day just shone into my heart when I picked up another feather at the kitchen door and later, working in the sun, I saw a little rainbow on my shoulder. Another silent reminder that God's got this.