My Blom (apologies, this one has to be in Afrikaans)

          

Die ding met hartseer is daar is nie eintlik n goeie definisie of beskrywing daarvan wat pas nie. 

Ek glo dis omdat dit soveel vorme kan aanneem wat die woordeboekskrywers nie in woorde kon uitdruk nie.

Dit is gekoppel aan n baie intieme verhouding wat skielik nie meer is nie.

Mens se hele lyf trek saam op onverwagse oomblikke wanneer die lyf se amygdala en limbiese sisteem gekonfronteer word met emosies en herinneringe wat uit die dieptes van ons siel opkom.

Hartseer is n seer hart wat  mens van binne gryp wanneer jy dit die minste verwag. 

Dis n soort verlange wat eindeloos terugkom, soos 'n storie wat nie klaar vertel is nie.

Die gemis van die wese wat eens n asem in die huis was is dieselfde vir mens en dier. 

Soveel keer wou ek al gaan kyk waar my Blom is, net om te besef sy is nie meer daar nie. 

Elke tuiskomslag maak ek die binnedeur van die motorhuis oop met n verwagting dat my blom regstaan om te speel met n blaffie of grommetjie van louter plesier om my te sien.

Elke aand met slaaptyd wil ek seker maak sy kry nie koud nie, ek loop nog draaie om die kolle waar haar huisbeddens oral was, en moet soveel selfbeheersing aan die dag lê met oggend staptyd wanneer ek my 'buff' van die kapstok afhaal waar haar leiband eens was.

Vanoggend is die suiderkruis weg en stap ons in stilte terwyl drie satelliete in die hemelruim bokant ons verbygly. Ek wonder in my stilligheid watter ster my Blom s'n kan wees, maar kan nie een kies nie, want dan is dit permanent....

My Blom was die leë nes se engel wat saam gewag het dat die kinders kom kuier, saam weggehardloop het op die strand as die branders inrol en verwoed haar stem dik gemaak het as 'n duif of hadeda kom raas op die dak.

Lukas se woorde sal altyd weerklink:

God's got this too.

Long Time No Se(a)e

Watching the misty winter cloud spilling over the Outeniqua mountains into the bay is like watching ocean and heaven connect.

All suddenly becomes quiet as creation sighs a word of worship to its Creator. The water looks like its one with the rolling mist, creating a floating illusion.

That's the thing with the Ocean. No two days look the same, it changes constantly. That's why most people take a million pics, because no Ocean scene is static.

My ocean connection was always of the "long-time-no-see" kind. We would spend our year working inland, and visiting the coast duing holidays. 

For me, this long-time-no-see relationship consisted of longer times away from the ocean constituting a holiday filled with urgent ocean contact, void of the real rest and restoration that comes with developing my blue heart.

The Ocean has an unseen attraction to all people, even those who seem indifferent. The reason is simple. It's salty disposition is a near-perfect match to our plasma. Furthermore "deep calls unto deep" because we come from amniotic fluid with very similar salinity and ion content as seawater. 

So it is not surprising that when you give in to that call and immerse, balance is instant and overall regulation of body functions as well as organs seem to align. 

All the "apps" go into airplane mode, you are enveloped by the body of salt water, gently supporting your body as you release all control.

You become a part of ocean and heaven connecting, and find yourself sighing a word of worship to your Creator.

God's really got this.

Life pockets

Sometimes life seems fluid and easy and sometimes life seems to have pockets. Whether created by us or life itself, these pockets sometimes contain a jumblesale of many things and sometimes the pockets reveal something unexpected. 

Whatever you drift into, it can seriously challenge you in many ways. The trick is to absorb the initial shock of the challenge by pulling that fluidity and ease into the scenario. Some may call it denial, I call it ICE. It stands for Initial Change Equilibrium. It is a chemistry tool used to generate a reverse equilibrium reaction. 

Practically it means to temporarily reverse your reaction to that pocket's impact. 

Say for instance you have a stressful thing to sort out (jumblesale pocket) and normally you would have agonised about how to tackle it, decide to change your approach. See it in a different light, albeit it temporary. 

Decide to smile and wave when an unexpected pocket makes an entrance, in stead of gasping or venting at the unexplainable nature of it all. 

The moment you ICE it or reverse the reaction, your resilience will increase dramatically and create new ways to handle or cope with whatever has landed in your life path. 

That is called equilibrium (balance).... that intrinsic event when you give yourself permission to release yourself from the expected. 

God's got this.